Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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