i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
