She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
