So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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