4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize