We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
