Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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