it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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