it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
