People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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