She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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