'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
