yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
