Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
