Are we in a gay sports bar?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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