She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
