When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
