yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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