I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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