Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
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