if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
