i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
