Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
