She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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