escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
