Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
