you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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