He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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