he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Randomize
