Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
