Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
