i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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