Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
