I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
