the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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