Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize