We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
