Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
