wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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