4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize