I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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