At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Please don't give away my fajitas
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
