Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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