so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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