is this the sara with the beer cane?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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