Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize