How'd it feel making her break her religion?
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
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