I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
