Whoa Z and x make the same sound
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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