My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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