I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
