he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
