You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize