Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
