420 ftw
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
