i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You ate ashes out of my bong
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
