last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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