wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
