I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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