dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
