ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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