dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
