I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
