I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
How naked do you want me to be?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
