Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
