"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
