My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
