i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
