I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
