Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
