love makes seman taste better
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
