i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
