is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
