Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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