Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
