who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
