oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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